The Art Of The Chase – A Redwood Case Study Prt. 2

So, I’m at the Redwood.

For those reading this not from Stephenville, Newfoundland, Canada, the Redwood is a bar in town.  It’s clientele is the most eclectic that you will find in this Bar-Friendly town. If you are 45+ you go to the Brown Derby, if you are 17-24 you go to 104/The bar, and every other business tends to keep their own regulars.  The Redwood is the bar in town where you are guaranteed to find someone in your own demographic, if you go on a Friday night.  All ages, shapes, social class flock to the Redwood on Friday nights.

In and of itself it is actually an incredibly versatile bar.  If you got a girl who wants to dance, but you would rather hang out and have a couple of drinks.  The Redwood is your compromise.  It’s a place where she can get up and dance all night long, but you can also sit back and have a few drinks, because you’re probably going to like to music as it is played by the live entertainment.  I enjoy it, in fact it sometimes actually creeps into my mind as being one of the best bars in town to go to.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about.  A couple of weeks ago I was at the Redwood.  I had just finished hanging out with the byes and there was a friend at the Redwood that I was really interested in meeting up with… especially considering it’s a friend that I met the Saturday before while I was drunk.  I had no idea what she looked like but managed to keep in touch all week via text.

So while there, I meet up with her outside and have a seat on the bench because there were way too many people inside and it was really hot.  As she pumped back in and out I kept meeting other people I know so I just hung out behind the Redwood with the smokers and just soaked in the atmosphere (although primarily that consisted of Second Hand Smoke)

I’m not going to name any names, because for the most part I don’t know the people involved but it was hilarious to see the most primal of all human interactions playing itself out behind the Redwood.  The mating dance… of sorts.

Okay, so I’m on the picnic table and I see these two buffoons that could not have been older than early 20’s spouting lame catch phrases and throwing testosterone-validating nicknames at each other in a vain attempt to charm three middle-aged women that were clearly poking fun at their antics.  Considering the guys legitimately thought they were being smooth, and the girls were poking fun so discreetly that the drunkards didn’t notice fascinated me.  It was interesting.

A few moments later, different group of people outside.  Three guys are standing not far from me, one of them was actually a guy I graduated with.  There is a group of 4-5 middle-aged girls, maybe early 30’s that are smoking close to the right of us.  One of the guys starts spouting lines and it was the most ridiculous attempt I’ve seen in real life.  It’s like a bad TV show where the doofus of the group tries to act like Casanova.

Thing is, whereas the first targets subtle about the slim chances that the males actually have, this group took a different approach.  Well at least one of them did, the remarks were nothing but sarcasm and condescending.  It was pretty ugly I must say.  This girl was not hideous, but she was FAR from a prime-candidate for maxim, and the way that whole interaction was handled made her as attractive as the wicked witch of the west from Oz.  If you are curious to how it all went down, just watch the movie “Dazed And Confused”  when you get to the initiation of the freshmen girls pay close attention to the girl who is barking commands and being a bitch.  That’s exactly what I saw at the Redwood that night.

This is interesting, because before then I would hear a story about a guy that is absolutely shit faced hitting on a girl and her turning him down to be typically, “what an idiot guy, what the hell does he think he’s doing?”  Well, the lesson I took from this is that a very clear reflection on your own personality is exactly HOW you deal with that situation.

Dumb and Dumber in the earlier scenario did not get lucky with those women that night.  However when they get home they’ll probably look back on the night and remember a fun drunk where they chatted up some women and had a blast.  Whereas if the strike-out case in the second scenario will do well to get drunk enough to forget the night because chances are if he didn’t black out he’s going to reflect on the night as being a pretty shitty night were a bitch called him down to the dirt.

I get it, I really do.  You can argue the point that if he feels so bad about the night he might learn his lesson and not do it next time.  It’s a legit statement, but I really think you can get that point across without entering the realm of blatant arrogance.

To steal a line from Danko Jones, “Well she might look pretty…. But She’s UGLY AS HELL”

I’m not saying I’m any prime catch, but before you start telling off the drunken oaf and looking down on them from your high pedestal.  Keep in mind that you mind be getting a few laughs from your friends, but not everyone in the bar is drunk.  Not everyone in the bar is oblivious, and when you channel your inner bitch, the sober candidates that you might very well have wanted to find when you enter that club could easily snub you over.  Is that really worth it because of a drunk idiot?

Sometimes you gotta be vicious, there are guys that just don’t get the hint, you’d eventually have to snap at some point.  But this is not that case, this guy just saw this girl for the first time because he was taken back by how cute she was…She flipped insta-bitch.  I don’t know about anyone else, but when I see that I walk away.

Doll yourself up in caked-on makeup, and the shortest skirt or just your longest shirt (whichever you prefer to wear)… that’s all for nothing if everything else beyond the wardrobe looks like shit.

Now do you REALLY wanna remind people of this??
Keep that in mind next time you shut down some drunk dude’s advances

– I Can Change, I Promise!! –

Tell me this.  Are you as sick and tired of this line as I am?  The insincere outcry from the recently rejected; a desperate plea for forgiveness.  It’s such an easy line to use and yet to actually, legitimately follow through requires an inhuman amount of willpower and desire.

Lately this has come up in a couple of different situations that I have been around so I figured it was the right time to make an entry about it.  Once again I’m not sure if this is a repeat entry but either way it needs to be addressed again.

Ladies and Gentlemen, when a relationship ends and you rhyme off your laundry list of reasons why the two of you cannot work , you will commonly get the reaction of hurt and remorse.  A lot of the time you are going to hear the dreaded line, “I can change, I can make things better, just give me a chance…”  and so on and so forth.

Well folks, its story time.

Years ago I was in a relationship where I was a complete asshole.  You have no idea how terrible I treated this girl and yet she still stuck with me.  At the end of this relationship I realized I had made a mistake and broke up with one of the few girls I’ll ever encounter that will truly accept me for who I am, and not try to make me something that I am not.

Of course it was too late, my Asshole-ways caught up with me and she was gone.

I did the whole song and dance claiming that I could change and everything would be better going forward, but she had enough of that.  She never did come back and to this day I am pretty sure she will remember me as that asshole.

I don’t blame her, I didn’t give her any reason to think otherwise.

The point of this story is that me and her broke up once prior to this and when we got back together we both said things would be different and everything would be better now that we know that we could lose each other.

Things were good…. for a while.  Once the novelty of losing her was gone the natural tendency to fall back into old habits set in and I reverted right back to Mr. Asshole.

The point of this story is that I did change, I spent a long time figuring out what is going on in my head that caused those issues and have long since dealt with them.  There was a lot lingering in my head unresolved and that cause me to be the man I was.

Losing her was what I needed in order to sort that out.  A couple of years later I moved on with my next relationship and although it also wasn’t a forever type fling, it did show me that I legitimately have changed.

Yes we fought, and yes things weren’t always perfect, but I can say with the utmost confidence that I treated her great…

This is a really long-winded method of getting across a simple point.  When couples break and the dumpee says that they ware going to change.. there is only two scenarios.  #1: They are just saying that to get you back and have no intention of changing.  and #2: They are telling the truth, and they will try to change… but if you do take them back then there reason for wanting this change will fade away, therefore the change cannot happen.

If Danielle would’ve got back with me, then it meant that there were no real consequences to me being that asshole… it was losing her and accepting the fact that she was gone for good that kept the drive going to change.

Think about it, they want to change because you broke things off with them… if things get back together, it’s only a matter of time before that fear wears off… and no one can change over night.  So once there’s no more fear driving their change than there in turn can be no change.

This might be a little dry and repetitive.. but I know two friends of mine that this is going to be relevant to for certain, maybe more.

One has guilt and remorse about the hurt being caused on her ex, and the other seems to be getting through it but had a rough time going.

So, never forget, the “I Can Change” line ONLY works, if you stick to your guns, and let them do what they have to do.  Never look back and take back your decision, else there’s a slim change that change will ever occur.

– The Dreaded Mother Hen Tactic –

Girls Night Out II by TheBourgyman @

Often it happens, we find ourself swamped and engulfed in all of life’s trivialities.  Destructive thoughts begin to flutter in the inner most recesses of your brain, and all of a sudden you begin to slip.  You lose control of your own life.  Everyone has that one friend that they can turn to and spill their guts in times of confusion.  That pillar of wisdom that seems to always be able to guide you in the right path to sanity.  It makes me pose the question though, where do those people turn to?

I do believe I may have already written on this topic but another trip to this discussion is warranted, it is the dominant thought in my mind right now.  The safe haven and the trusted faces have faded, and blended into obscurity.  I don’t have the welcoming feeling anymore in places where I should be at home.  I do not feel as though the people I have surrounded myself with recently are going to the be the type that is going to be any use finding clarity in my confusion.

Anyway, this is not the point of this entry.  This is the December 3rd entry, and yes it has been posted before midnight.  I did NOT miss my deadline yet.  Of course leaving an entry just to boast that I made deadline would be a cop-out. So I’m going to write about something that came to me last night.

Last night, despite my better judgement I accompanied a friend to The Bar because this friend did not want to go alone.  So I went, and among a few experiences that I’m sure will come up in a future entry at some point, I ran into a girl I knew.  There were three of them there, and one of them was getting pretty close with this guy.  Of course, the girl was incredibly drunk, and this guy was someone who was known to be shall-we-say not motivated by ethics or morals.

Sound The Alarms!!!

Mother Hen And Chicks by CRSgrl1223 @

It was interesting to see this in action, it was very enlightening.  Within moments I bore witness to the Mother Hen syndrome taking complete control of the other two girls.  They instantly went into protection mode, the poor guy never stood a chance.  Each time he was going to the dance floor and drag his little target away, one of the other two would immediately pull her back.  The funny part about this is that the targeted girl just kept dancing throughout the whole thing… the alcohol had her almost completely oblivious to what was going on.

Wait a minute.. you DO know the Mother Hen right?

Well I don’t want anyone to have to admit that they never heard of it so I’ll just explain it nonetheless.  The Mother Hen tactic is most commonly viewed when a guy tries to get in the middle of and interrupt a girls night out.  Sorry pal, they just want to dance.  It is very difficult because the other girls flock around their chick and made sure you end up being a failure.

As a guy I know I should detest the Mother Hen tactic, however seeing what I saw last night I was actually impressed by it and I was actually cheering them on.  They did it amazingly.  The end of the night involved some choice words and a proposition of “taking it outside.”  Not that he was anything to fear, I just don’t really have the energy to waste on drunken idiots.  Anyway, it was really quite a sight to see.  Of course I found myself somewhat in protector mode, just sitting back and observing to make sure they didn’t get in under the heads and he didn’t do anything too stupid.

Thing is, I can’t understand why some people think they can get past this kind of defense.  This guy must have come up like 9 times over 3 songs trying to dance with her only to be turned away by the group.   He should have realized that there was no way in hell the girlfriends were going to let their friend go home with him.  Why persist?  Do you think drunk girl is going to stick up for you and leave them?  Dude, really she is drunk enough to be dancing with a creep like you, there’s no way she’s going to be giving her girls any confrontation.  By the time this night is over she’s going to want the bed… alone.

This tactic has been the almighty cock-block for as long as men have been trying to have sex with women.  It’s truly a terribly enemy if you are opposing it, but when you on the outside just watching it actually is like watching the nature channel, seeing how insects operate with one another.  It was educational.

Here’s some advice… if you reach double digits when counting how often you approach a girl only to be turned away by her friends, then she is NOT going to take you over them.  If you really like her, try here again when she’s sober… if you just want to get laid, look around that is not very difficult to find.

Anyway, this is short-ish, and not overly insightful.  It is more about the hilarity the ensued last night.  Even though the humor only really works if you were there… Okay, so I forced out this entry in order to meet my mandate of at least one entry per day for the month of December.  I’ve got some ideas floating around this head of mine, I’m sure tomorrow will be a better read.

– If you guys have any idea for something I could write about, anything at all, don’t hesitate to comment or send me a message.