Gandhi said it best when he said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of strength.” It’s difficult to really argue that at the current moment.
Some people look at it as weakness, and sometimes it can even appear to be foolish. God knows there is a friend in particular that I am thinking of right now that I would have cast into the foolish category.
Last night I was more or less broken by some words that are very sensitive to my mindset. To them it may have been a passing phrase. It was very unflattering but not a very extreme case. Unfortunately it cut pretty deep.
The person in question was incredibly intoxicated and doesn’t really even remember any of this, and when they were made aware of it this morning an apology was immediately offered.
I really want to say that it’s no big deal and that everything is all okay. I want to forgive, but there’s something that is preventing me. When exactly did this occur? Normally I’m the guy that lets everything slide.
It’s been a real challenge to seek my inner enlightenment and to just absolve this friend from the sin, I haven’t been able to do it until very recently.
I started thinking, what reason is there to carry this grudge? Why do people carry grudges anyway? Worrying, as I wrote in the previous entry, is a useless endeavor. I’m going to let this friend know that everything is okay.
But in general why is forgiveness so difficult sometimes?
Are we scared that if we forgive the transgressions of another we are vulnerable to a repeat offence? Or is it a direct reflection on what you think of them as a person? (Someone you really care for usually has a much easier time seeking forgiveness than a casual acquaintance.)
Here’s the trick ladies and gentlemen. Forgiveness is a very admirable trait and a virtue in a class of its own. It only becomes a fool’s errand when you follow the “forgive and forget” policy.
You’ve all heard “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Well that’s entirely correct, you can forgive someone and move on from a mistake that was made as long as you never forget.
Don’t let yourself constantly become battered and beaten (either physically or emotionally). You can let go of grudges but still protect yourself.
I’m really disappointed with myself that it too me almost the full day to come to the conclusion that I need to grant forgiveness. It’s been eaten at my core all day and I’m pretty sure my refusal to grant this forgiveness has actually caused me more mental anguish than the deed in which I need to forgive.
If you take nothing else from this entry at least heed the words… if there is some kind of conflict in your life now and you can’t seem to let go, just imagine how much easier your life will be if you did.
Life’s too short for this.
It isn’t worth it.
The World Is Broken 