Belated Memorial – R.I.P: The Muckrakers

Held My breath, forgot to breathe.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the need to write an entry in this blog.  I’m going to start with something positive, I want to thank everyone that actually complimented me over my summer’s work.  Even as recent as last week I received kudos for the literal endeavor that began as me killing time at work but evolved into an outlet for my mental diarrhea.

There hasn’t been a lot of activity here, not because there hasn’t been much going on.  My life is actually quite eventful, I just lack the ability to string a coherent thought together to write something worth reading.  This entry isn’t an exception, I just was struck down by news that I needed to vent about.  It is simply about “The Muckrakers”.

Going back.  A young Devin first got his hands on his 200 dollar Yamaha acoustic and after brief instruction from his uncle… he is beginning to play real songs.  Time of Your life, Bad Moon Rising, and Be Like that, three of the very select few has been able to pull off.

MP3’s a still a wonderous, new technology, MySpace doesn’t quite have a following yet but it is in its infancy, and is the outlet for which absolute nobodies post their music to the internet hoping to be discovered.  During this time Devin surfs around and comes across a humorous song by Bentframe called the star wars rap, which is hilarious.  But while searching “Acoustic”  he comes across a song called, “Through My Door” by the Muckrakers.

The album version of this song is hilarious.  But they didn’t play it live often so Rob fucks around with it here 😛

Immediately I was smitten.  The Muckrakers were my favorite band, and to this day remain as one of my tops.  The issue is that they were small time, I downloaded all their songs, and checked in every now and then.  Even today I was thinking, “lets see if there’s any new tunes up for them on their website”… to discover “The Muckrakers” official website doesn’t exist.  I found their MySpace page to learn that July 17th, 2009 was the final show of this band.

I was still a musical toddler when I found these guys, I was so innocent back then that when trying to learn how to play Through My Door, and lacking any ability to play by ear… I e-mailed them.  Rob Carpenter, lead singer and frontman for Muckrakers, sent back a personal letter.  he thanked me for the e-mail… admitted how surprised he was the know that they have a fan in Newfoundland. I’m pretty sure that I was their first Canadian fan. Since I started following them when they were uber-local on  I kept that e-mail for so long, until it hacked, so I don’t have a copy of it anymore. 😦

I think it’s very surreal if you think about it.  Work from a small time band in the states somehow by chance landed on my desktop in one of the most unknown provinces of Canada.  Not only that but Muckrakers songs were my theme for a long time.  I knew every word to every song on Forgot To Breathe, and to this day still remains one of my favorite albums of all time of any band.  It’s unforutnate that I’ll never get to hear any new songs.

If acoustic is your thing, check out the Vids I posted, and enjoy.  This last one, is a clip of their last show.  One of my favorite songs by them.. “Fool”.

So, It’s a year too late… but Muckrakers, thanks for the tunes…I’ve officially added Fool and Through My Door to my open mic reportoire, hope you don’t mind, and especially thanks for being my earliest real influence when it comes playing music.  Best of luck in all you do guys!

You’ll be missed.

I’m the Fool, for wanting… I’m the fool to care.
I’m the Fool for believing… that you’d always be there.


– Season Finale, Time For Re-Runs –

Finale Time! 

It might be a little while before there is another entry into this blog… but then again I may post another later tonight.  I really don’t know yet. 

Thursday night it hit me… my life is enterting this seasons finale.  If there is anyone confused by this reference, check out this entry:

The summer is more than halfway over.  There has already been an emotional roller coaster taking place between everyone in the vicinity.  Hell, this blog seems to be a new character introduced to the series.  It has already caused enough drama in an of itself. 

School will start soon, Johnny Pardy will be back in the ville soon,  I’ll be living in Stephenville soon, there are so many brand new beginnings that will be occurring over the next 4 weeks.  The summer is coming to an end.  St. John’s this weekend is the last big shindig, and for the most part I’m going to be spending it with the townie friends that I can afford to see while I’m there. 

Three Primary ones.. my original sister, my closest friend, and the only person on the planet that I can say that I trust 100% to not only be honest with me, but when I do something wrong, they come directly to me without hesitation in hopes to resolve it.. Chrystal.

I don’t need to worry about Chrystal bottling something up that annoys her until it erupts and she needs to vent about it… it’s just an understanding.  We talk shit through.  Friday night, I’m hoping to get there early enough so enjoy some darts and pool at her place, then check out downtown. 

Adrian Payne, the best poker buddy I have left, and maybe the only one that has surivived this long that I still keep in relative contact with. 2pm Saturday bella vista.  Should be fun.

Sunday, we return home… and we see the conclusion of the season following very shortly.  I have a sense of impending resolution.  I don’t know if it’s for better or worse, but what I do know is that this omenous feeling means that there are drastic changes coming… does this mean that something I’ve worked hard for so long for will pay off… or completely fail… will there be a new surprise.. I really can’t tell.

What I DO know is this Summer has been an interesting one.  I’ve never had a period of my life that I have so much like a villain and hero all in the same breath.  Bring on the fall.

I really can’t wait to see what happens this Sepetember, it’s pretty exciting.

– Friendship –

Here’s a question for you.  Just because you were friends with someone, and you have known them forever… does that make you friends? 
Does tenure actually play a role in friendship?

Just looking at the question, I think we all would say no.  But then think about it, how many people do you associate with that you really don’t overly get along with, but you were friends. 

I’ve talked a lot about relationships, but friendships are also an essential part to life as well, potentially more essential.  Especially if you find a true friend.

Okay here’s how I would describe the people in my life I consider to be a friend.  They are people I can count on, people who are there when needed, and they are people who I trust.

Someone who is there for me is grand, but if I truly feel that they will throw me under the bus is our interest conflict, then I would not consider them to be a friend.  You know the friends I’m talking about.  They are always there when you need something… let’s say that you’re upset about a break up.  They are there for you, they’ll talk you through it… however, if your girlfriend happens to be someone they wanted, they have no problem with dropping you in exchange for a shot with her. 

It doesn’t even need to be that extreme, how about a friend that you drive around all the time in your car, picking them up, dropping them off… but one of the times when you need a ride because your car is not around… all of a sudden they “can’t get the car.”  This is excusable when legit.  But when it happens all the time. 

Or how about the friend that is all great and fun while you’re doing what they want, but the moment plans shift to something you would prefer over something they would.. you’re doing it alone.

There’s endless examples I can use to describe these supposed friendships that we have, and yet I don’t think we should.  Just because you’ve known someone for forever, doesn’t mean you are good friends.

Johnny Pardy is a good friend, so is Jeff Vineham.  Paul Vincent is actually a good friend of mine as well… as is Dwayne Bennett, Bonus, Carrie… I mean I could keep this list going forever, but there are people that I would consider myself close with, but I know that when it comes to a conflict of interest friendship will be irrelevant.

Now, understand this.  I am NOT trying to say that anyone that doesn’t take my intentions as their number one priority is not a good friend, because that’ll just make me be like those that I hate.  No, there needs to be give and take, I”m saying that a good friend doesn’t just instantly dismiss the intentions of the other friend.  It seems that when it comes to most of my quote-unquote Friends… I find myself always putting what I want on the back burner, and there is never a consideration of that ever-changing.  There are exceptions, Johnny Pardy for one. That’s a guy that actually would usually offer up to put his friends first over himself most times.

I’m just getting very sick and tired of being supposedly friends with people, and yet having to deal with so much bullshit.  A friendship should not be an uphill battle.  Ideally you surround yourself with like-minded people.

– The New Age –

The Golden Age has officially come to an end.  I’m sure the other participants in it will agree.  Jeff Vineham, Evan Willoughby… it has been a blast guys.  But I stand by what I wrote earlier.  Salmon Fest was the conclusion of our golden age. 

I’m not saying that we wont have anymore fun for the summer, but the three of us getting messed up and always finding something crazy to be at has finished.  Evan is in NS, Jeff is with Carrie, and I’m pursuing my own endeavours.  Our little clique has split ways and has been for quite some time now. 

I’m proposing that the weekend of Friday the 13th, we have that one big last send off to the times we had this summer.  Assuming you guys are still game for going to St. John’s, I think it’ll be the best way to officially put Golden Age to rest. 

The Golden Age
-Evan dancing with a wookie who tried to steal his fedora.
-Jeff telling me some girl was cute, so I talked to her fat, bitchy friend,
-The pitchers at Whelan’s Gate that royally fucked us all up for some reason
-Me, taking a spill outside of Subway.
-Going to a fire, and deciding to return to Evan’s place at 1am to start drinking.
-Evan’s girly scream because of a splash of water.
-Jeff Dancing on the table at the Redwood
-Jeff Dancing on the pool table at Clancys
-Me, instructing Jeff on how to talk to girl, by approaching a random girl.. only to find out that I knew her.
-Meeting Evan’s incredibly HOT sister.
-The Break The Seal Contest that I won.

There’s lots more… it was a fun time guys.
St. John’s next weekend, a final send off to The Golden Age of 2010.

– Here For You –

This isn’t a rant about a topic or idea… this is going under Newfie Times.. This is a story and a memory.  Also, a message to a friend.

I gave up.  My last one ditch effort to get her to see the people in her life that were truly there for her failed.  I was hoping that my idle threat to exit her life would get her to see what she would be giving up by continuing her path.  I wanted her to know that her family is there for her.. that I was there for her… but it didn’t work.  The emotional reaction I received was anger. 

She was gone, and I have completely failed.  I left her to her own devices.  I have been consistently beating myself up over this, especially two days ago when a certain someone made that sarcastic comment about me “swooping in to save the day.”

Today, I find out that at least part of what I feared and anticipated happened.  So I am writing this rant, not for any particular point other than to give her a message.

To You
I want you to know that I know that I gave up, but there was always the part of me that was hoping that you would still come to me when you needed me.  I think that’s what happened moments ago actually.  You may not admit this, and you may even still claim to hate me, but you turned to me.  You KNOW that I am here for you, always will be. 

You are too great of a person to be letting this get to you, however I know that isn’t what you want to hear.  But, since I’m not sure if I will see you online later I want to tell you this and hopefully you can take some solace in it.

You are an integral part of who I am today.  There were many key people in my life that have aided in molding me into the man I am, and you were one of the first.  You saw something in an overweight, emo kid sitting on the back step.  I realize that you may not remember this, or if you do there is just bits and pieces.  So I figure I’m going to share the story here.. because I remember, practically every detail.

It was the summer I graduated High school…  I was pretty not-ready to talk to girls yet.  Still reeling from the incident that happened a years prior.  But anyway.  At a party I receive a kiss from a girl, and I think she likes me, of course I wasn’t big into drinking so I didn’t know the difference between drunk and honesty haha.  Anyway, fast forward to a house party at Sara Perry’s.  We just finished playing fuck ups, it is the same night that Mark Hussey made the rule that when he needed to drink I needed to snort one.. and I did a couple of those.. Couldn’t smell anything but beer for like a week after haha.

Anyway, I am drunk and go upstairs to what I believe is a conversation between this girl and her friend essentially saying that I was a bet to see if they could pull it off.  So, naturally, I get upset.  I kind of stormed out the front door and sat on the front step.  This is where you come in.

You had no idea who I was… not a clue.  You sat down beside me and asked me was I okay.  It’s the first time we ever talked.  My response is something that later you told me you remembered but I’m sure if you still do now since it is nearing like 10 years.. you may not.  My response was, “do you have friends here?”  you looked at me confused.. and said yeah you did. Then my rebuttal was “Then you should go have fun with them”… that’s how we first met.   heh, from that it went to mIRC talking.. to actually hanging out. 

You came to my place like a few days later, where my cousin was playing Halo… you sat down and played with him,and got destroyed haha but it was still fun to see.  It was the start to a great summer.

Funny enough you are one of the few people who I met in my life, trying to save me, instead of vice versa.  We hung out a lot that summer and got to be really close friends to the point that your boyfriend didn’t really like me, even though he never met me.  The point of this story is, that summer is still one of the best summers I can remember, there were a lot of great parties, and a lot of great times, and at least half of that was with you.

I then went to Grenfell, and well my own drama caught up with me and I had like a nervous breakdown, which I remember a conversation with you where I had you pretty upset.. we were never really close after that.. not like we used to be.  I still consider you a great friend, even now. 

I know that there are people going to read this and draw a conclusion that I am trying to get with you.  I can imagine at least three that even though I am putting it here will still assume that is the purpose of this entry.  But, no.  I just want to remind you that even though you are going through some profound agony right now.. and you feel like there is no way to go on.  What you want you can’t have, and it kills you on every level…. I want you to remember that you are still an amazing person.  You will move on from this even though right now you don’t want to and feel like you never will. 

I know you felt like your family didn’t support you.. that I didn’t support you.  But we were there for you this whole time, and we will continue to be there.

Turn to your friends and family.  We are here for you, whatever it is you need.
You have more strength than you realize, and this will only make you stronger in the end. I assure you.

– The Weight Of the World – Prt.2

Okay, I wanted to make this public knowledge.  It has been under a week since my entry entitled “Weight of the World” where i proclaimed that I would no longer make excuses, that I would for once in my life take losing my excess weight seriously.    Since then I want to say that I have failed.  I have eaten A&W, McDonalds, and KFC all since that post.  I did go to subway but today I might as well have gone to Rotten Ronnies because health wise I can’t see a Chicken bacon Ranch sub being nutritious.    Especially when you add mayo and ranch to it.

So, Albeit this is a very short entry I just wanted to reiterate my original intention, and tell you all that as of July 26th, 2010.  The plan is in motion.

I want to thank Bonus who sent me a novella of a message explaining a method that works for him and may be beneficial for me.  Dude, we got to have a chat when you gets home.

Here is a stunning additional to this lifestyle that I am not sure how my party-friends will take.  Aside from eliminated carbonated soft drinks and fast food.. Alcohol is gone too.  I’m not going to try and find the best alcoholic drinks for weight loss, because honestly I don’t care enough about drinking to worry about that.  It’s going to help me get where I want to be, as well as keep money in my pocket that I could use on more important things.

I do have a inner rant that i want to get out into the blog, I’m sure that’ll come out later.
But yeah, so Round Two begins tomorrow.

Day One…

….  How many day ones will I see before this actually works?? ha ha wish me luck.