A blank virtual canvas is a daunting sight to behold. This is especially true when it is near 5am and the most productive thing I can say about the last 12hrs is almost catching up on the most recent of The Big Bang Theory. It has been more than two complete months since I have posted a single word to this cyber home and I can’t help but contemplate how I got to this point.
Is it sad that I think watching BBT has opened my eyes to a fallacy that has governed my thoughts and actions for most of 2014. I’ve regressed to that of a child giving in to juvenile desires and ambitions; which means that right now I have nothing to show for the last number of months.
The strangest part is that there are aspects of my life that have finally matured to a point where I finally feel comfortable welcoming myself into the world of adulthood, while others meander in the immature. There is no reason for me to not have any progress made on my Janus project.
Issues that have been clearly identified as problematic continue to endure in spite of all the solutions that I have comprised to resolve them.
If you’re reading this hoping to decipher its point then I apologize. Essentially you are all participating in a psychological cleanse of sorts. September 3rd, 2014 has been a night of revelation, not unlike others in the past. Will something come of this? I’m really unsure, but as with all the others it feels like I have found the initiative.
Professionally, Financially, Physically.
Sometimes it feels as though everything is under complete control, while other times it would appear as though everything is overwhelming with no hope of recovery.
As the clock prepares to actually strike 5am. I feel the promise burning in the back of my mind. The prospects of a new job, steps towards financial security, the promise of getting behind the keyboard and getting back to work, and even being assertive in the area of personal health are all coming into such a clear focus that it’s difficult not to feel inspired.
Doubt hovers around and rears its grotesque visage occasionally, and I know the path we travel isn’t going to be without its potholes and detours… but once again it’s time to bounce back from this stagnant existence and to prove the nay-sayers wrong.
Thank you for bearing with me while I mentally expunge these thoughts transforming them from plaguing my mind into text on the screen for all of cyberspace to see.
I’ll be seeing you all very soon…
Thanks for still being there World Is Broken.