Something has gone awry when you feel more appreciated by a massive online word-processor than by the company you have been employed by for the last year.
I wake up and stumble into my last shift approximately 15 minutes late and spend the last remaining hours just on auto-pilot going through the motions till I can leave this place and be free.
I log into Word Press to discover a little trophy icon in the top corner. Clicking it reveals a WordPress milestone, with a short message wishing me a happy 3rd anniversary with WordPress.
That’s right apparently it was May 3rd, 2010 when The World is Broken first went live. Three years is a fairly lengthy time, and to be honest it feels a little strange. I’m stunned at how long it has actually been since it feels like far less than three years, and yet I struggle to remember a time in my life when I was not posting something or another here on the World Is Broken.
In the last three years there have been lots of changes.
It doesn’t quite look the way it began and I even tried going with some new names to make it more broadly accepted… The World Is Broken?.. At first glance that sounds like some emo kids live journal page. You wouldn’t expect to find any depth or true expression. I’m not vain enough (also I know I’m guilty of more than a couple of emo-teen-rage-rants) to think that my word transcends that description all the time but there’s enough people following, supporting, and continually reading my work that I believe I’m justified in saying that a lot of the times the things I have to say carry some weight.
I usually describe The World Is Broken as my online home. This is the place you would go if for some reason you knew who I was and wanted to get the inside scoop on what was going on in my life, but upon reflection I don’t think that it is a very accurate representation of what I do here. This place isn’t where you would go to find out specifically what is going on in my life, for the most part I keep out the specific details like names and locales when it comes to current affairs.
This place is more like a window into my mindset and a jumbled, unorganized collection of the thoughts that swim through the abyss of my mind. There’s so much that I think, believe and feel and when it boils over to the point where it can no longer be contained the World Is Broken is the waste management system I use to vent the excess.
This website has seen me through a lot. It began with College of the North Atlantic, it seen me through the ups when things were going great, the downs when I was on the chopping block for expulsion, and everything in between. When I decided I was going to dabble in the world of reviews, the World is Broken became my canvas and to this day I’m still incredibly proud of my reviews of both the Big Bang Theory and Glee.
When Elaine passed away, this website became the outlet for all the angry and frustrated thoughts that overcame me. I lost myself in a well of grief and despair, unable to truly communicate with those around me, unable to look pass my remorse and guilt to see anything but a world without her. It was through taking the mosaic of thoughts and dumping them onto the page here on WordPress that I was able to truly organize them and begin to deal.
May is still a rough month for me and it will stand as a trial that I will undergo every year until the day I finally come to terms that it was not my fault and there’s nothing I could have done to change the outcome. The World is Broken saw me through last years May.
The various romantic experiences, from the break up with Candace, even the confusing time spent with Cynthia and the “Brother Zone.” It’s even still with me now that I have come into what I’m sure is going to be my final “new relationship” with Jess.
My transition from naive, ignorant college student into the man who I am now can be followed and experienced through reading this website. Sure there are large gaps, sometimes spanning several months, but the one consistent is that I always come back to it. This website is as dear to me as anything else in my life.
Words are my trade, and despite any strength I have or will obtain in my life words are my power.
I’ve never been “Freshly Pressed”… and I’ve never made a dime from anything put on the site…
WordPress is wishing me a Happy Anniversary… Even though I know it’s an automated message I respond to it with a most heartfelt and sincere Thank You to WordPress being my outlet for the last three years… It’ll be interesting to see where I’ll this path is going to lead over the next three years.