Okay, yes I”m linking you to a Relient K song, don’t judge me. If you’ve been following me for any significant amount of time you will come to understand that I have a very eclectic taste when it comes to music… nothing is off limits.
This song is the best summary to the sentiment behind this entry, and honestly this opening is what kept going through my head when I stopped to consider everything. So, I’m linking it.
The biggest enemy resulting in me failing in my endeavors is an intangible echo that resonates within my mental processes. A dastardly foe that has been succeeding in sabotaging just about every potential good situation I’ve encountered.
The interesting part about writing this entry is that I’m sure just by reading you’re going to gain a real understanding of the extent in which this notion plagues me. I over-think about the process of over thinking.
Over-thinking is when you begin to analyze and try to decipher every little gesture, movement, and/or word of a situation. You begin to see patterns where there really are none, you begin to see cues and subtle hints that just don’t exist… Think Russel Crowe’s Nash in “A Beautiful Mind”
and even more tragic is when its combined with general pessimism and defeat-us attitude you end up seeing distain, and ill-will where none truly exist.
Let’s start this right where you all know it’s going to go. Women.
Fellas when it comes to women this is a situation you REALLY need to get a grip on. Trying to give some advice on this sounds odd coming from me, even hypocritical considering this is actually still my biggest problem when it comes to women.
I always think the worse and as a way of trying to counter that I end up engaging in what can be humbly described as “uncomfortable conversation.”
It just makes things awkward.
So here it comes, the renown advice that should help you get through this mindset if this is a problem that you face. It’s quite simple too, wanna hear it?
Easier said than done I understand that. I know you think you’re doing yourself more good than harm… you think you’re outsmarting the situation and as a result will find yourself in a better place because you’ve considered all possible outcomes… but let’s face it. More often than not this is going to be an incredible turn off.
No woman wants to be with a guy that second guesses everything he does, and needs a constant reassurance that he’s doing the right thing. Seriously, you can be compassionate and sensitive without trying to cater to every whim she may have. You made a joke and she didn’t laugh?… No that doesn’t necessarily mean you offended her.
Different people react in different ways to different things. Just because she’s not giving the same signs as the others in your past to express themselves, doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong
I’m guilty of this too, so I’m trying not to sound condescending when I type this.
Confidence is key. I know that, you know that, we all know that. If you can exude confidence without crossing into arrogance then you found the holy grail sir.
Be confident in what you’re doing… even if it’s done wrong. If you’re doing something wrong believe me you’ll be made aware quite promptly.
“”But.. I was doing *insert action here* for so long and everyone thought it was weird but no one told me.. what about that?””
Well sir you are absolutely right. There are going to be times where that will certainly be the case. Unfortunately not all people have the ability to be blunt with someone about what they really think or feel. To that I say you have a legitimate point, but in response I say that you should not fear this situation.
As embarrassing as it is to discover that something you’ve been doing or saying for a long period of time is actually NOT as cool or enjoyable as you though, it’s better than the alternative. If you decide that you are going to try to avoid this from happening, you begin to over think, and when you over think almost all situations end the same.
So is it really worth it to self-sabotage every situation just to eliminate the risk of doing a single humilating action. Just weigh the odds.. you either end up doing something stupid every now and then.. or you make everything awkward and uncomfortable
Sounds like a fair trade off eh?
Anyway, this isn’t limited to women & dating. Over-Thinking is a terrible menace to psychological well-being and social acceptance. It has been the bane of my social status for as long as I’ve had social skills. I’m certain this is actually the real root to why The World Is Broken actually exists.
I was able to channel my Over-Thinking into entries here rather than acting on those thoughts. Maybe that’s why I’ve been such a dork lately, I haven’t been really purging those thoughts lately.
Whether it’s a school project, a job at work, or just getting some drinks with a buddy or two. One should never spend too much time trying to ponder the possible consequences and social backlash to every insignificant action.
*And No the irony is not lost on me that I’m writing an entry about over thinking and explaining how it’s a terrible thing to be doing constantly.. when the entry itself seems as though i’m over thinking about over thinking…*
Wow, I think my mind is beginning to implode.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this little bit of insight, this is a problem that I will not be duplicated in the near future. Time to go with the flow. Ha ha,