I really wish I could figure out a better song to use in this post than a Celine Dion song that most of my generation will only remember because it was performed on Glee. It’s a great song and very appropriate for this entry so at the very least I’m going to introduce some of you to “Platinum Weird” and their cover of this tune. Enjoy.
I’ve spent too much of my life looking back. It’s like for the last year I’ve been in complete stasis, things never seemed to get worse or better. I’ve been stuck in a rut of routine that was going nowhere. I make plans for the future, but it took Elaine passing away to wake me up and see that I’ve been putting that all off for far too long.
When was the last time I can think of that I really took a chance? Well up until recently it would have to be a couple of years ago when I took a random drive to Corner Brook with James and met with Candace.
That decision reshaped how my life would go for years to come. Although the last year or so seen lots of ups and downs, it has been the exact same song and dance over and over again. Nothing changes, nothing grows. Talking to me a year ago is the same as talking to me last week.
This realization blows my mind because so much has happened to me since then. I am a graduate of CNA’s Journalism program, I moved into my own apartment, I’ve even had some very noteworthy experiences with some old and new friends… but yet everything feels stale.
Taking Chances is really what life is all about; it keeps it fresh. Just like a long-term couple needs to change-up the bedroom antics to spice up their sex life, or bands need to branch off into other genres to rekindle their stale passion for music, life is about chances.
If you play things safe through your whole life when it comes to the end you will be very disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, you can be happy-ish. I’m sure you’ll have lots of ups and downs as well, but when you come to the end you’ll be plagued with a lot of What If’s.
What if I would’ve applied for that Job?
What if I would’ve learned how to play guitar?What if I would’ve asked this girl out?What if i would’ve tried to kiss her?
There’s more than a few of you that are reading this entry that are patiently waiting for me to dive into the inspiration for this entry; and there are others that already know the inspiration and are now waiting details. Well here it goes.
For the first time in a very long time I took a chance this week. One of James’ friends needed to be rescued from some drama that was plaguing her. We drove to Gander at midnight to pick her up and bring her back to Stephenville.
One of the big things that tell me how special a girl is, is her ability to legitimately make me laugh when something is seriously plaguing my mind. I’m still in mourning over Elaine, but with this friend around I legitimately enjoyed myself. This girl is incredible.
The first night here we introduced her to Open Mic, she got a little too intoxicated and some guy tried to bring her home. Promptly, James and myself stepped in and saw that issue removed. To those that know me you know that I would do that for any of my female friends, I will not let someone go home drunk with someone they just met, especially if it’s a huge oaf that just wants to get laid.
The difference between this and a normal friend was inside I was legitimately getting angry, (which doesn’t usually happen). I was thinking about what would happen if this guy didn’t take no for an answer and honestly I was ready to take care of that problem if it came up, (even if he had three buddies waiting in the cab for him).
So this girl that I basically just met has already started to mean something to me, and up to this point I had no indication that she was even interested. I didn’t think anything would ever become of it.
That night she stayed at my place when I opted to let her sleep in my bed instead of James’ couch, (of course my plan was to just stay awake on the computer while she slept, I am NOT someone that’ll take advantage of someone who is drunk.)
Anyway, the next few nights we got close. I was hesitant at first, she was a great girl but I didn’t want to risk anything by seeing how far it would go. We’ve talked, she did express her interest in me.
It was all around great. I wasn’t going to pressure her into anything because realistically she is just out of a relationship so the last thing she needs is another guy pressuring her into something she may or may not want.
The trip wasn’t as long as I would’ve liked, it felt a lot shorter than it was. During this trip I decided “fuck it”. I’ll see what’s going to happen, and I was not disappointed. I wish I could’ve had more time with her but we had some good times when she was out.
Now I’m not sitting at my computer now whimpering and whining and waiting for her to come back and jump into my arms or anything. I mean its way too early to know if anything will ever come of it. She’s gone for now, but by taking a chance I managed to have an incredible week, and hopefully when she comes back she might want to pick up where we left off.
If she does that’s awesome, if not that’s understandable too.
I am completely excited about the thought of her coming back, so if there is some girls reading this that are contemplating asking me out (Oh there must be tons eh?) This isn’t the time, ha ha. My plan right now is to get back on track with getting my finances in order and starting to get myself physically where I want to be.
The dating scene is officially off of my mind for the immediate future and will continue to be that way until I take care of those two things or she gets back here and wants to give it a shot.
But I must admit after being jerked around for the last few months it is good to finally see that I actually am still attractive to someone.
Taking Chances is really what it’s all about guys.
The massive weight that has been lifted off my shoulders comes from finally not pushing away something that came along.
If you’re caught up into something that you don’t think you can get out, ask yourself why?
If it’s a boyfriend that doesn’t make you happy or controls your life, then ask yourself “what am I doing with him?”…
If it’s a job that makes you miserable every time you go to work, then ask yourself, “what would I rather be doing and how hard would it be to do it?”
If there’s something in your life that is making you unhappy, then why is it there to begin with?
Just because something is comfortable and secure does NOT make it right. There are battered women that feel like they can’t away, there are people flipping burgers at McDonald’s that feel like they can’t find better work, but we all know the difference.
Did my gamble pay off this week? I don’t know, hah there really is a chance that now with her being gone I’ll be far from her mind… or she’ll not forget and I’ll be able to ask her on that second date like I planned too all along (and have something pretty great planned)
But the point is that I took it, and even if nothing comes of it I’ve had a great week and I’m sure she did too. Just the feeling I have now makes me feel like I can do anything. It’s intoxicating.
The second piece of advice I want to lay down is, NEVER turn a blind eye to an opportunity. Like I said, I came back from St. John’s and burying Elaine. If I would’ve been a recluse and never left the apartment and I never would’ve even spent time with this girl.
No matter what is going on in your life, whether it is anguish or even just old relationship baggage, you should ALWAYS keep your eyes and mind open to what might come along. It can be unforgettable sometimes.
P.S: Anyone reading this interested in joining the Gym?? (Serious inquiries only)