For those of you that do not follow football, and are not en route to a pub to prime for the big game, I have this to say this morning. There are far too many males in particular but this applies to the female population as well, that does not understand the simple idea of, “No.”
There are two examples that I can think of right now who apply to this critique and unfortunately it is guys like them that ruin things for the rest of us. When a girl tells you that she isn’t interested, or that you creep her out, or you’re being a dick… that is not a sign that she’s playing hard to get, it is her desperate plea for you to move on to your next obsession.
The reason I decided to rant about this so early in the morning is because I think that I’m actually drifting away from someone close due to this mindset. I know of at least one guy that recently wouldn’t take no for an answer and became pretty annoying. This is a girl that I did develop a connection with…. but I’m pretty sure she thinks that I’m the same way. There was one night when I did inform her that a big regret I had in recent months was not giving a chance to see where we could go because I’m pretty sure she was ready for something like that a while ago but alas I was not… now the roles are reversed, she just finished with something that ended fairly bitterly and she isn’t ready.
I want to just say, “I’m not like that previous gentleman that wouldn’t let up, I am well aware that nothing is going to happen and it really is of little consequence to me.” The worst part is that we were actually pretty good friends, but ever since a drunken mis-step on my part, things feel awkward and the conversations seemed forced… the vibe I get from her is kind of like someone who is trying to be polite by just responding to someone else instead of just telling them to “eff off.”
So this is a public service announcement for anyone that fits this description. Constant pressure and cheesy compliments are not the way to a girl’s heart, especially if she’s already told you to back off. There is a HUGE difference between someone who isn’t interested and someone playing hard to get. Just because she said no, does NOT necessarily mean she wants you to pursue her (although I do know women that actually do that.)
When you have these guys that can’t accept rejection, who assure the girl “Oh it’s okay, we can hang as friends.” … and then they try to make a move again even after its been long-established that she doesn’t want it.. you give a terrible and long-lasting impression of the gender as a whole. If I was to ask someone out, and they said no and there wasn’t a hint of any kind of feel at all, I move on from that idea but most likely if I was interested in the first place you’re pretty cool so I’m still going to try to be friends with you… alas I don’t think in this case it’ll work, I think the damage has been done and our friendship is not going to be the same anymore. I’ve been lumped into a category of the ever-persistent idiots, and there is nothing that can really be done about it.
To the unrelenting guys, just let it go.. really. You’re giving us all a bad name. And girls? If a guy asks you out, and you say no, that does not mean he’s going to go nuts and keep trying to get with you. If he legitimately feels like you have no interest, he just might be mature enough to still respectful of that…
Okay, so sue me I couldn’t resist.
P.S: Go Packers!