A clean slate. This is what I offered to everyone approximately three weeks ago. This entry is inspired because I have just engaged in a conversation with one of the people that was directly affected by my sudden decision to offer everybody a clean slate. I mean really, what is the point?
This provokes a thought in my mind that I felt the urge to come and share with anyone that stumbles upon this blog. Why is it so hard to get past mistakes. If someone wrongs you, what do you gain by carrying a grudge? It does nothing be cause more awkwardness, and adds additional stress that I KNOW you don’t need. As humans we already deal with enough stress as is, why bother adding to it.
This particular case of this particular conversation that I am having with this particular girl. I am no fool, and if she is to read this she may not like what I am about to say, however I still do not trust her entirely. I was betrayed, the friendship that I shared was completely thrown to the dogs in the hopes that she can negotiate a deal with her significant other. To me that isn’t something that I going to forget, ever. I know when push comes to shove that if the stakes are right, I won’t be able to depend on her loyalty.
However I do not want anyone to misinterpret what I am trying to say here. I am not chastizing the poor girl. She has repeatedly informed me that she made a mistake and there were numerous conversations to the point where I believe that she is legitimately remorseful of the events that took place. So why should I hold a grudge?? If I needed to turn to someone for a life or death situation, I’ll probably go to someone that I trust over her, but how many friendships require that kind of dedication. She’s still a joy to talk to, she is still an entertaining conversationalist.
My point is, you don’t have to have a perfect record with everyone in your life for them to be a part of it. I guess that’s a lesson I learned this year. Once upon a time the only thing that mattered in my life is truth, is honesty. I guessing maybe my ex girlfriend spoiled me because I knew with her that everyone was honest and true. Anyway, I have been betrayed numerous times since the incident in question by numerous people. I’ve been lied to, I’ve been bitched about, and I’ve been despised… I understand this.
The people that is perpetrating these acts, do I really need to cut them entirely out of my life? Yes they may not be able to be trusted with my must sacred secrets but things don’t always have to be serious. If you spend time with someone because they are fun to be around in that moment. What does it matter if they lied to you about hanging out with someone else instead of hanging out with you? I certainly would never free up my schedule for this person, but if I had nothing to do and they had nothing to do, why not get together?
Someone said they had a problem with you, but you want to go to see a movie and there is no one that wants to see it other than that person. Do you not go? What is the harm in just going and enjoying yourself. Hell, it’ll be a good opportunity to talk about it and that could be the first step to recovery.
There are always so many other ways you can deal with the people in your life and the mistakes they make when it comes to your friendship/relationship. Isolation is not the way to go about it. This was a rough lesson to learn, one day I’ll probably go into the psychological details as to how I came to this conclusion. For now we’ll just say that I’m having a conversation, it is enjoyable, and it is indeed with someone that the old me would’ve severed all ties with.
I can see the error of that way of thinking.
Life is way too short and too stressful for grudges. So in short, to end this little progress report. My month long pledge to clean the slate with everyone and start from scratch giving everyone the benfit of a doubt is working quite smoothly and I want to boast that drama levels have reached all time low. Because instead of confronting every imperfection in my associations in a vain attempt at finding a harmonious existence, the compromise of knowing that people are different and no two people will ever fit completely together without any friction.
Give it a shot if you don’t believe. I’m telling you it will add 20 years to your life.