It’s an interesting concept, and yet a tactic that is rudimentary in the pursuit of the opposite sex. There are many ways to describe it, and many names applied to the tactic. I usually refer to it as the “Foot In The Door” strategy. It is a tactic that has been quite successful in the past for a great deal of people if used correctly.
Okay, as always with this type of entry I have to begin with the muse that got me on this topic. Well the title is actually something that I said to a friend of mine recently, it was mostly just a joke, but as soon as the words escaped my lips I thought that this would be the perfect title of an entry about this technique that I’ve stumbled upon in my worldly travels. The reason for the entry, well… let’s just say that I’ve seen my fair share of assholes use this method to their benefit and end up doing a lot of damage in the process. To use this strategy to be with someone requires a lot of patience, time, and understanding. Usually the person is someone very vulnerable… so if you are some degenerate prick that is swooping in with the hopes of getting laid, there can be irreparable damage done. So consider this a public service announcement to be careful who you trust.
Now, I guess before I venture forth one must pose the question of, “If this is a tactic for landing a catch that you’re looking for, then if you put it here won’t it eliminate its effectiveness?” The short answer to that is, “Of Course.” But I’m at a point right now that I really don’t care either which way about it. I’ve implemented it successfully in the past, and I have also been burned on it as well. I’m tired of the game, and I’m tired of the pursuit. I’ve got a lot of other issues in my world that I need to concern myself with, and companionship is rapidly falling off the priority totem pole.
So, here’s the “foot in the door” strategy exposed. A lot of you are aware of it already, and others.. well, this will be an eye-opener that there could very well be a “good friend” in your life that is attempting this plan of attack.
Now, I’m obviously a straight, male so I’m going to speak from that perspective but I happen to know females that have done this as well so it is not a gender specific plan, if anything it is more effective for women than men because of our natural tendency to be less attached in relationships. So no matter who you are, have a seat and listen up.
You got your eye on this girl. She’s smart, funny, beautiful, and every other positive adjective that can be found in Websters. She’s the most incredible vision to enter your sight, and the most understanding and compatible girl who has ever existed outside of your wildest fantasies, she even drops subtle hints of admiration and interest in you. What better life could you ask for right? Well, there is a downfall. She has a boyfriend… or she just got out of a terrible relationship… or she just went through a very traumatic ordeal and is emotionally very unstable and untrusting… there’s a whole lot of things that can make someone unavailable to you, it doesn’t matter how compatible you are.
Enter the “Call Me When You’re Single” strategy.
The basic premise of this idea is that you befriend her, you show her that you are trustworthy, you get close. This sounds simple enough to anyone with an ounce of empathy and half a brain, however there is finesse required to achieve that goal you want. Because the guy that befriends the girl he likes, and gets close to her, runs the risk of being permanently lumped in the “Friend Zone” (Which I still find hilarious that there are so many women that still do NOT understand how painful it is for a guy to be stuck in this Zone when he doesn’t want to be… I’m thinking I need another entry to try to explain it)
There are subtle things that the guy needs to do in order for the girl to continue to consider him when she thinks about the men in her life, and NOT when she thinks about the dearest friends to her… not that someone can’t be both. But the issue with the Friend Zone is that the girl no longer views the guys as a viable method to satisfy the needs she has in a man, whether that be sexual or just social.
The guy must never forget to keep reminding her subconscious that he is a man, and that he is interested in her in such a way that it goes beyond the boundaries of a friendship. For me this part is really natural because I tend to have a flirtatious personality at the core anyway, so people tend to be used to me giving them compliments and semi-flirting. This does however play to my detriment as well, because it is such a core trait that people have come to know about me, that sometimes when girls play back at me it is hard to decipher if they are just going along with the joke or are they legitimately flirting back. This is due to the fact that it is difficult for anyone to tell when I’m seriously interested or just friendly… (I’ve basically been accused of “wanting to get with” just about every female in my life by someone at some point.)
Sometimes you get lucky enough to have a history with the person, maybe you have already had a little fun with her… generally this gives you a much more solid foundation for separating yourself from the Friend Zone… Especially if she enjoyed it 😉
Anyway, I’m here to educate anyone reading this to something they may not be aware of, and they probably should be. The reason the term “Foot In The Door Method” is so applicable is because it accurately describes to perfection what you must do.
The door is basically closed, you tried to open it to find resistance. So, you place your foot in the door… it can’t close this way. So you just linger around with the door wedged open, but you don’t try to hard to push it open. If you do you’ll be met with just more resistance. No, you keep your foot in that door and slowly inch it open, until eventually it is the person on the other side that will open it for you, and give you the opportunity you have so patiently been waiting for.
Currently, I am NOT utilizing this strategy for anyone. Although I’m sure there are at least two people who will read this entry and believe otherwise. Like I mentioned already, I am growing very weary of the games that we must play. I have far more important things in my life to deal with. I thought I was completely certain of who I was, but lately I’ve discovered that I was wrong, I am completely lost in an endless sea of uncertainty, and I have no idea who the real me is… now THAT is a problem that needs to be focused on.
In closing… just be careful. My main purpose for this entry is to make sure that the idiots and pricks that try this out don’t see any success. The problem with this strategy is that it is so easily camouflaged, not only that but it allows you to have multiple targets. You can have your foot in the door of a lot of different people, and it is not even morally wrong because you are not directly committed to anyone of them… problem with this is when the guy gets greedy, and after he gets one.. he STILL has his foot in the door for others… So if you’re reading this and you have a very best friend of the opposite gender that you’re not quite sure about… chances are this is what he’s doing.