– Innocence – Resisting Lifes Obstacles-

I was just watching a video online.  In this video there was a scene about a kid that was so pumped for Christmas,  he can’t wait until he can open those presents, and check his plate of cookies to see if Santa came by. 

This made me think.  I may sound like a retired vet when I say this, but it just happens to be what is on my mind.   Have you ever wished you could go back to a time when you completely ignorant to the serious woes of life… you were oblivious to responsibility and your only real role in life is to behave, and to have fun.

The Innocence Of Our Youth, is something that everyone should appreciate, albeit I understand that no one ever can.  Baz Lurhman said it best when he said, “Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, no nevermind you wont truly understand the power and beauty of your youth until it has faded.”  It’s true as well.  I mean I have the knowledge that I am still technically in my youth, there are so many different paths I can take now… and yet, all I can seem to do is look in the past and see the missed opportunities.

I understand this is in direct contradiction with my regrets entry earlier, where I say I have no regrets.  I don’t regret anything, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish I could go back to a simpler time.  It would be so amazing to go back to a time when I did believe in Santa Claus.  that i didn’t know what was really going on in the world around me, nor did I care as long as I could play power rangers with the guys. 

Looking at lost innocence it is hard to give the world any credit to provide any positivity.  If the world can take something so pure and gentle and manipulate it into jaded pessimism, how can I sit at this computer and tell you that life is good… that things will all be okay.  Well I couldn’t.

In my reflection about losing my childhood innocence and the belief that it happens to everyone, I look at the state of this world.  Do you understand how often I’ve heard the past two weeks that “life sucks.”  All from different sources, all for different reasons, but the attitude is the same. 

I got something to say.  I agree, there’s a part of me that thinks that my life sucks.  It seems that no matter what I try to how much effort I put in, I can’t seem to make progress.  Life keeps giving me reasons to give up… but you know what I say to that?

Life is only as malevolent or benevolent as you want to make it.  Yes, I’ve come across resistance, but I persevere.  Does that mean I will accomplish my goal?  Not necessarily, hell as much as I hate to admit it, it doesn’t even look likely anymore.. but here I am anyway. I persevere and I will keep so.

So you tried doing something good for someone, and it completely backfired in your face, it came full circle and now you’re public enemy number one? … I’ve been there.

So you did everything you could to not hurt someone, but they ended up hurt in the end, and most people point the finger of blame at you, even though you were trying to do the right thing?… I’ve been there.

Life takes a giant dump on me almost everyday.  There’s always some reason for me to feel like I don’t want to get out of bed.. that I want to lay there and not get up.. hell a lot of days I’d go to sleep not wanting to wake up…. and yet… I persevere.  

I don’t have my boyish innocence anymore… my eyes are open.  I see the razor blades of life and I know that they do their damnedest to try to make sure I fail in whatever endeavour I undertake.  But… I’m still standing.  I get through.  Nothing can stop me.

When you’re a child everything is simple, black and white.. you don’t need thought you don’t need the effort.  As an adult, happiness becomes an everyday struggle.  If you do not have happiness right now, you may have a rough path ahead of you, but keep in mind the worst things get now.. the better they will end up when you find your purpose, and obtain your goals. 

I don’t know what new changes September is going to bring when it comes to my life, and my emotional mindset… I’m pretty excited to see them though. 

The razors are closing in again, but as always I’m going to rebel.  I will be happy if it kills me. 😛
You shouldn’t give up in what you want, or believe in.  Not just because of some resistance.  If your goal is worth the struggle then you will be surprised the depths of determination you can find deep in yourself… the proper motivation is all that you need.

Our innocence is gone, but that is far from meaning our lives are over.


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