– The Games We Play –

Okay, is it terrible that I am really liking this Eminem.  Yes, I understand those of you who hate rap, but just listening to his songs I’m finding that most of them are kind of inspirational… well his serious ones.  Anyway, that’s not the point.

The Games We Play
This is something that I don’t think I will be able to completely cover in a single entry, and I won’t try.  The Game is basically the underlying tone in just about all my relationship-based entries.  Every piece of advice, every shared experience was just the sharing of plays in this game. 

When I was young I had a desire.  I wished that when it came to the opposite sex that we could all stop playing games.  If you like someone, just tell them.  If they don’t like you back, then you’re shit out of luck and it’s time to move onto someone else.  There is still a part of me that would long for a world like that.  Hoping that people could end the stupid games.  Wouldn’t life be a LOT easier?

Games are foolish, (as Jewel has said).  How come there is a legitimate time when it would be detrimental to tell the girl you like about your feelings.  That seems to be the opposite of how it should work. 

I’m older now, I would even go so far as to say I’m slightly wiser.  Truth be told that this entry was entirely going to be bashing Games, and being slightly reflective as to why we do it.  But I am talking to a friend now and I just realize that I described her once and it has answered my question for me.  I realize that there is a reason as to why the interpersonal relations are so complicated at times. 

Games are needed, and are natural.  They are not something that was taught to you, well there are times people will teach but generally the reason for them is a more natural occurrence.

Human beings are complex creatures.  Sure, a lot of people may fall into stereotypes, there are even those that are completely predictable.  But, everyone has a complex set of emotions, opinions and mindsets.  Games aren’t something that are played out of delight… even though some do enjoy them.

This point is going to be extremely difficult to relate in a blog, because it is still pretty jumbled in my head.  But I will try my best. 

A guy walks up to a girl with no preparation, and says, “I like you, let’s go out.”  She barely knows him, he’s not overly attractive.. of course the answer is no.  There is no foundation, no connection there.  It’s like a business transaction.. so she declines. 

Same guy meets a girl though a mutual friend.  Gets to know her, gets close to her… while not too close to be trapped in the FZ(Friend Zone)… waits for the opportune moment when it looks like she is ready to hear it.  “I Like you, let’s go out”.. there’s a greater chance of getting that yes. 

This is a simple point, they want to get to know you before dating you. 

The complexities come in when you have those that psychologically need a little resistance.  A girl who has guys coming up to her everyday professing their love for her and other guys trying to get her out on a date, may actually take more notice to a guy that isn’t all that overly caring towards her.  This is the case where talking to her without being a dick, but for the most part giving her the cold shoulder will separate you from the herd, and get you noticed. 

This is part of “The Game”.  The reason why I say the game is more of a natural occurrence in the field of dating is because, it is not that this girl is waiting for someone to be mean to her.  But she gets the same routine every time, it’s hard to decipher one from the other.  Standing up and standing out of the crowd is how you will get her eye, and THAT’s when you get in close.  Still don’t be too overbearing but, not too distant either.

The Games we have to play are a direct result of the range of different life experiences and emotions that we had as human beings.  No two people think identically so the same approach will not work on everyone. 

Some people enjoy the chase, some enjoy being chased.  Some like a challenge, some just want the easy objective.  Games are essentially a result of the difference between men and women and between individual people in general. 

Dodging and weaving through the various intricities of a personality, trying to reach your goal of Emotional Reciprocation, the human mind is far to complex to make that a straight line.  There will be obstacles, there will be adversity, a lot of times there will also be competition.  There are so many different ways and so many different plays, the game is confusing most of the time…

But it is necessary.  When in doubt just abandon the game, spill your guts and see what happens.  Don’t let it drive you mad, and who knows sometimes the road is pretty straight and all it takes is a few kind words.

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