– The Novelty –

Oh, buddy.  How could I NOT have written about this yet.  It’s just observational, but I’ve been talking about the Novelty for as long as Jeff & Carrie has been together.  It’s a very powerful beginning to just about every relationship.  It’s incredibly intoxicated, and it is very easy to get caught up in it.

This entry is about… The Novelty

Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I am talking about.  Whether you have felt it personally or not, you know what I mean.  The Novelty is the first stage of any relationship.  Sometimes it last a matter of days, sometimes weeks, but the one consistency about the Novelty is that it eventually ends. 

That’s right.  It ends.

Okay, I’m going to make an assumption that none of you know what I am talking about.  It is not a difficult concept.  If you have ever been in a relationship with someone and you guys were close to.  The Novelty is the initial stage of the relationship.  You are basically drunk on your own emotional connection with this person.  It usually comes following the official title of Boyfriend/Girlfriend, but sometimes has been known to start after the first “hook up.”  Anyway, this is the stage of the relationship when everything is absolutely perfect.  You two may be different, but you don’t seem to disagree on anything.. you never want to be separated… 24/7 at each others sides.  Basically you both become one being and any deviation from that existence is hurtful. 

Here’s the issues that arise with it.. , the Novelty is just a phase.. and truthfully it’s a high.  It’s like taking relationship heroin, everything great is amplified 10x over.  This means that when the novelty runs out and you are back to a regular relationship.. one of compromise, disagreements, and imperfections… many begin to doubt if it’ll work.  They wonder how can things be so bad now vs how great they were before. 
newsflash Kiddo, it isn’t bad now, it’s just real now.  You’re fantasy world of sugar plumes, candy-canes and lots and lots of sex has imploded and now you are there with someone who you most likely care deeply for, but there will be times when work is required because that perfect existence is gone now.

I’ve seen a novelty last up to 6 months, so I mean it does vary from couple to couple.. however, I will say that the longer the novelty goes, (just like the longer you do drugs), the more destruction it can be at the end.  A 6 month perfect, argument free relationship where everything is perfect all of a sudden becomes a struggle of give and take, and happy mediums… It can be disheartening.

I really want to give a call to all the new couples out there.  Not every single one of you will be affected by this, there are times when people transition from the novelty to the true relationship smoothly and rationally.  They stay happy.  There are couples that struggle with it but after a bit of “debating” things are worked out and the relationship can finally begin as a natural occurrence. 

If you are a new couple, and you only now are starting to experience any kind of trouble, DO NOT.. i repeat, DO NOT immediately chalk that up to the relationship failing.  It may be possible that the relationship just can’t work, however, a LOT of the time all you are experiencing is the Relationship running out of steroids and it’s time to put some effort into it.  If you care about the person, the effort wont be overwhelming.  If the two of you are right it’ll be okay.

I never used this analogy before writing it in this entry but I think truly it is the best way to describe the Novelty phase… “Love Heroin”. 

This entry was clearly a brainchild of a reflection on Jeff and Carrie… not to say they are or are not in the novelty stage… They work great together and I’m ecstatic that everything worked out that way…  I’ll admit that it did somewhat damper the Golden Age summer we were having, but it was only a matter of time before that happened anyway haha so it’s all good. 

Anyway, That is my rant on “The Novelty”
Now hopefully I can get over this writer’s block and get to some better topics soon enough. eh?


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