I’ve actually got pestered by three different people because the day is winding down and I am yet to do a blog entry. Just in the middle of the sentence with Nicole telling her I had nothing to rant about.. a topic came to mind. I don’t know why it did, but for some reason I thought of a conversation I had with a friend a while ago about Jealousy. I say “a friend” because I really can’t remember who it was. However, I want to give a little rant about Misguided Jealousy.
What is this you ask? Well here’s the scenario.
Guy and Girl#1 are dating. Guy sleeps with Girl #2. Girl#1 finds out and does everything she can to keep Guy from Girl #2, and threatens bodily harm to Girl#2. Now, as rational human beings… does this make sense?
Exactly, Jealousy – Wrong Target.
I never could understand the girls that get absolutely savage with the mistress, when it really is the unfaithful guy that needs to be dealt with. I’m going to pretend like I researched this and say that statistically I’m pretty sure that more often than not the girl doesn’t even know that the guy has a girlfriend already. So why is it fair to flip out at her. Also, not that I will ever condone cheating in any form… but, what really did she do wrong. Especially if she was the one that got seduced by him?
There’s way too often that we find insane cat fights break out over a guy, when in reality, he is the one that is in the wrong. Not only does he not have to deal with the flak of the problem, (he may have to deal with his girlfriend bitching about the other girl, but that’s it). While the other girl ends up with a mortal enemy.
This semi-ties in with the line that I hate above most other lines.. “I trust you but it’s them I don’t.” In all seriousness if you trust me and believe I wouldn’t do anything, then why does it matter if someone else will try. If I am truly trustworthy, there’s no way in hell I would do anything with someone else if I want to be with you. This line in and of itself can be the catalyst to a chain reaction that could torpedo the relationship.
Put away the press on nails, pocket that can of mace… if you have beef before your man is unfaithful, turn that aggression towards the man who has wronged you.. not the girl in the background that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong guy.
Even if she is a temptress that seduces him and has her way with him, unless he was drugged then he is STILL in the wrong. When I am with someone, there is nothing anyone else can do to seduce me… I stay faithful. As will all trustworthy individuals. When you looked at being drugged, then you enter the realm of rape. Which, well.. THEN you can pick at the girl.. but I’d prefer just to call the cops on that one.
I can hear the collective sigh of all the women reading this that have been in this situation and find it justifiable to pardon the man because of circumstance. You care so much for him you don’t want to throw him away because of some trampy cock-tease that came along. You think that if you just try harder the man will stay true…
Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. In these particular circumstances, even if you forbid him to see this other girl who gets under your skill and you want to kick her ass all over the parking lot… there will just be some other girl, some other time, and maybe he’ll learn to be more cautious about it…
So you see what happens. Misguided Jealousy just makes people learn to just become better cheaters… They are compelled to find new ways to hide being with this girls, and there is a part of them that really don’t care because if they get caught, you’re just going to want to bitch slap the girl, and maybe yell at him for a little while before you reconcile.
Aim the vengeful rifle in the right direction… it’s not the cheatee.. it’s the cheater. I may be biased about this because I have, nor do I ever intend on cheating on anyone I’m with. But, it is always a possibility for the cheater to reject the cheatee… blame falls there.
I will admit there is one semi-exception to this rule. I know people who have cheated however, I have full confidence in their ability to in a relationship.. however they were extreme cases where emotionally and physiologically they were finished with the relationship at the time.. their only crime, is that they weren’t able to express the sentiment to their significant other at the time. But I think a general post about cheating is something that needs its own entry at some point I won’t get into it now.
Like I said.. Guy messes around on you.. don’t Blame is cohort.. blame the asshole that gave in.
Disclaimer: This applies to male AND female. Both are capable of this reactions… in fact it’s more common for guys to get into fist fights about their girls. Also, upon reviewing the entry, Jealousy may not be the emotion I wanted to use here.. although it does apply, it’s more of a mixture of Jealousy and Rage.. ha ha. You all know the situation I’m talking about though.