– Friendship –

Here’s a question for you.  Just because you were friends with someone, and you have known them forever… does that make you friends? 
Does tenure actually play a role in friendship?

Just looking at the question, I think we all would say no.  But then think about it, how many people do you associate with that you really don’t overly get along with, but you were friends. 

I’ve talked a lot about relationships, but friendships are also an essential part to life as well, potentially more essential.  Especially if you find a true friend.

Okay here’s how I would describe the people in my life I consider to be a friend.  They are people I can count on, people who are there when needed, and they are people who I trust.

Someone who is there for me is grand, but if I truly feel that they will throw me under the bus is our interest conflict, then I would not consider them to be a friend.  You know the friends I’m talking about.  They are always there when you need something… let’s say that you’re upset about a break up.  They are there for you, they’ll talk you through it… however, if your girlfriend happens to be someone they wanted, they have no problem with dropping you in exchange for a shot with her. 

It doesn’t even need to be that extreme, how about a friend that you drive around all the time in your car, picking them up, dropping them off… but one of the times when you need a ride because your car is not around… all of a sudden they “can’t get the car.”  This is excusable when legit.  But when it happens all the time. 

Or how about the friend that is all great and fun while you’re doing what they want, but the moment plans shift to something you would prefer over something they would.. you’re doing it alone.

There’s endless examples I can use to describe these supposed friendships that we have, and yet I don’t think we should.  Just because you’ve known someone for forever, doesn’t mean you are good friends.

Johnny Pardy is a good friend, so is Jeff Vineham.  Paul Vincent is actually a good friend of mine as well… as is Dwayne Bennett, Bonus, Carrie… I mean I could keep this list going forever, but there are people that I would consider myself close with, but I know that when it comes to a conflict of interest friendship will be irrelevant.

Now, understand this.  I am NOT trying to say that anyone that doesn’t take my intentions as their number one priority is not a good friend, because that’ll just make me be like those that I hate.  No, there needs to be give and take, I”m saying that a good friend doesn’t just instantly dismiss the intentions of the other friend.  It seems that when it comes to most of my quote-unquote Friends… I find myself always putting what I want on the back burner, and there is never a consideration of that ever-changing.  There are exceptions, Johnny Pardy for one. That’s a guy that actually would usually offer up to put his friends first over himself most times.

I’m just getting very sick and tired of being supposedly friends with people, and yet having to deal with so much bullshit.  A friendship should not be an uphill battle.  Ideally you surround yourself with like-minded people.

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