Tell Her I’m An Asshole, It’ll Help Me Out.

Alright, this is probably the most impromptu rant that I’ve written yet.  It literally just popped in my head as I ran into a trailer for “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.”  I remembered this quote and I realized that it is a concept that I had on my mind anyway, and if I can do a favor to the people out there who has not grasp this concept yet.

It’s simple, and it applies to both genders as most of my rants do.  Just exchange Asshole for Bitch and you have the same premise.

Guys what are you thinking?  Okay first of all the scene that sets this up. 
Tucker Maxx is at a bar hitting on the waitress, when the bartender pipes up and says to lay off of her.  There’s a whole scene that occurs here but the ending of the scene is Tucker leaning over the bar to talk to the bartender and he says, “Make sure you tell Leslie that I”m an asshole and she should stay away from me, it’ll really help my chances.” 

You want to know what the sad part about this really is?  Tucker is right.  There is nothing that will send the opposite sex running to the one person you hate then you telling them to stay away.  Now, I’m writing this rant as an olive branch and to perhaps help out those of you that could really use this information to their benefit.

If you tell her that he’s an asshole, or even worse that you don’t trust him, in most cases that is like pointing at a keg and saying help yourself while talking to a recovering alcoholic.  Telling her to stay away from him shows nothing but insecurity on your part.  If he’s a Casanova, you’re showing insecurity that she’ll leave you.. if he’s an asshole, you’re showing that you don’t trust her ability to take care of herself.   I mean the list is endless as to why the “stay away” approach is a terrible idea.

I was accused of “trying to hurt someones chances” yesterday.  I find that absolutely laughable mainly because I really have no interest in sabotaging that particular subject.  He is quite capable of doing that all by his self.  It just made me think.  What is it that we hope to achieve when we limit the friends of our significant others?

This actually stems way back to my lost friend that I had to give up on.  I wasn’t allowed to see her at all, if he knew about it I would’ve caused more misery for her.  I was kind of foolish and I actually let that stop me.  It’s something that I do not feel pride in.  The fact that I had to give up on someone who needed help is still killing me. 

Actually, this is the exact reason why I got cut pretty deep last night.  I am not going to divulge where the line came from but when inquiring about what would happen if a friend of mine got upset about something I was told, “So what, then you can just swoop in and play the hero like you always do.”…

Hearing this less than a week after I had to bail on a friend nearly killed me. 

But I’m getting off point, here’s the advice.

Guys, your girl is a catch, otherwise why the hell would you be with her?  You have to get used to the fact that she’s going to have both male and female friends.  You understand that if you try to limit her contact with the opposite sex you’ll end up with one of two scenarios.  Either #1.  She’ll drop her friends and be stuck to you at the hip until things get really bad, and she meets someone who will rescue her from that misery.  She’ll willingly leave too, since all you have done was remove aspects of her life that she enjoyed.  Or there’s #2.  She’s already had that kind of relationship (or was just born with a strong will) and will drop you like a bad habit. 

Either way, no good comes from it. 

Realize something… if you’re with someone, you’re with them. If you afraid of them around other people, that means there’s no trust.  If there’s no trust you might as well get stepping because nothing can be built without trust as a foundation.  It’ll all crumble. 

Tell her I’m an asshole it’ll help me out…  This is the last free advice that I am giving.  No one can say that at least I’m not fair.  From this point on your on your own.


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