Ladies in particular, but Gentlemen there are occurences of females being at the mercy of this phenomenon. Today I rant about “The Friend Zone”. It is a vile place that lurks inside everyone, and once you are trapped there, you cannot escape.This rant was inspired about the memory of Robyn Bedo’s going away party at Clancys. There was a toast by Lenny where he mentioned this dreaded zone. “And Robyn said it, “I love you Lenny……. like a brother.” And once she said that I know… I was in the friend zone”. At which point Miss Eden Swyers walked up to the mic and said, “Being in the friend zone is not that bad.”
This is the point where I realize, that not everyone truly grasps the feeling if being trapped in that abysmal crevice of someones mind. There isn’t anything fun about being the friend zone. Nothing at all.
First issue I want to bring up is that there is a behemoth of a difference between being in the friend zone and being “trapped” in the friend zone. I guess maybe that is where the confusion lies. “trapped, stuck, confined” when you use words like this to describe the friend zone then you are experiencing what I am talking about.
Eden Swyers, Carrie Harvey, Kim Nippard, all girls that I would consider myself in the friend zone with. The thought of anything beyond friendship is not appealing to me in the least. I wouldn’t consider myself trapped there though, because it is where I want to be.
The problem lies in when the emotion is not the same. If you get in the friend zone with someone who you like, that you want to be more than friends with… that’s when you discover how the Friend Zone can prove to be the cause of one of the worst feelings a human being can feel…
Stephanie Hatch for one, ha ha I was interested in her when we worked at A&W and I was stoked that we were going to start ICT in the same class too. But, quickly I discovered I would never be more than a friend to her, it hurt for a while.
Hell for those that known me for a while I used to have the biggest crush on Myra Tobin back in high school. But once again I became a victim to the friend zone.
I could keep going but I”m sure you all get the point. The friend zone is this plutonic void that exist inside the personality of someone and they place the people there that they are closest with. The issue that arises when someone is placed in the friend zone of someone they are crushing on is that once you are in the friend zone the person loses all ability to ever see you as more than a friend. You lost her bud.. time to move on.
Now that we have discussed what exactly it means to be in the friend zone.
Being in the friend zone doesn’t seem like a cruel fate to everyone, but if you really look, you’ll see that people who don’t understand how devastating the “I like you as friend” line can be, are the people who just finished placing someone in that zone. Someone who doesn’t quite understand,
“Whats wrong with being good friends?” Whats wrong? Well like I said make yourself really hungry like starve yourself for 2 weeks… then take your favorite food and lock it up in a glass case that you can’t penetrate. Then “Clockwork Orange” yourself where you restrain your head so it can’t move, and have little hooks keeping your eyelids open so you have to stare at it.. for ever. That is a small taste of what the friend zone feels like.
There’s nothing pleasant about the experience, but it is a good learning tool though. I’m not an expert on staying out of the friend zone so I understand me giving tips on staying out is pretty vain but I will either way. There are two main points that need to be addressed.
#1. Your Appearance. Oh I can imagine the responses I’m going to get about this one, but I am going to say this foremost. The biggest contributing factor that diverts quality guys to the friendzone with girls is the way they look. When you have all the personality traits that they are looking for in a guy but you just happen to look goofy or overweight or really bad acne… whatever… she puts you in the friend zone. You’re a great template that she can use to find a good-looking guy with your traits, but in the meantime enjoy having you around. (This applies to guys and girls, I’m just not saying guy/girl every time)
#2. The Pursuit – In an earlier entry about nice guys I made reference to girls liking the chase. Truthfully, that is how it seems for just about them all. If you lay all your cards on the table and just let everything all out from the start… she has no chase, no excitement, so unless she was already interested and just looking for an opportunity..you’ve failed. She will tell you how sweet you are, and how good of a friend you are, and you are stuck in the zone.
The point of the matter is this. As debilitating as the Friend Zone is and although when you get stuck in it you feel like you have just lost out on the best opportunity of your life. You can’t view it that way.
She can be a good friend to you even though that’s not what you wanted… there really isn’t anything wrong with friendship.
“The Friend Zone” has been the enemy of successful hook ups since we could think for ourselves. It is a known evil that can be defeated if given proper skill and a lot of luck.
My goal, well I’m getting pretty tired of the friend zone winning so I’m just going to use this rant combined with the Weight Of The World entry, as fuel for my constitution about this weight-loss and reshaping plan I have.
Wow… I just tried to explain the concept to a friend of mine on MSN while typing this… it really came out pretty confused. I got to take a second a rephrase that.
Okay I think she understand now.
Where was I? … Oh Yeah.
The Friend Zone – The void that all failed attempts end up. Where she can no longer look at you as anything other than a friend and that is the way you’ll remain. The thought of doing something with a person in the friend zone is a gross thought to her. It is the enemy if you are aiming for something that you want. You need to learn as much as you can without getting too close, you need to understand what she wants, and see if you are indeed what she wants… do not try to be something that you’re not. That will end up landing you in the dog house when your facade fails.
If you get to know someone and find out that you are what they are looking for. Remember that there is a difference between the way someone acts towards a friend, and acts towards a romantic interest…. treat her like a friend and you are on your way to the Zone. Treat her too much like a romantic interest and depending on how interested she is with you, you could scare her off. Take time. Ponder your options. And Find the happy medium.Okay well anyway, this talking on MSN while bloggin throws what little coherent thought I have for a loop. So I’m going to end this believing that I’ve said all that I want to. If not, you’ll be hearing from me.