Disclaimer: This post is not directed at any one person. It is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend.
So much of my life has been revolved around trust in some way, shape, or form. Right now it is so prominent that I feel like I’m being crushed beneath it.
Issues of Trust are like Kryptonite to happiness. You can’t be happy without it, I’ve learned that.
To all the women out there that have this issue. I understand that there’s a chance that you have been wronged by a guy in the past so it is very difficult to drop your guard for another one. Listen, if you don’t, it’ll end up being a tragic self-sabotage. If you want to put pressure, and strain on a relationship… Stop trusting your man.
There is nothing more stressful on a relationship then a girlfriend that doesn’t trust you. If you truly do not trust him, why are you bothering? Do you really want to be with someone that you have to put effort into making sure they stay honest? Is it worth being with someone when you believe that if you drop your guard he will stray? If you’re with someone, it is because you want them and you know they want you. You need to keep that thought in mind.
“I DO trust you But….” Stop right there. If there is a but, then you obviously don’t trust him enough. Trust isn’t debatable.. either it’s there or not.
“I don’t think you should go out of your way to talk to her so much…” Want to see how fast a fight can spark? Use that Line. You’re a girlfriend but your not the only female friend we are allowed to have. Don’t you think if we wanted to do something with them we would’ve done so already? and if it is a new person, then you realize that this line actually makes you seem less attractive… we do NOT want to stop meeting new people because we have a girlfriend. We still enjoy meeting new people, both men AND women.
“I trust you, it’s her I don’t trust…” Once again, no you don’t. If your distrust for someone exceeds your trust for him, then you obviously do not trust him enough. No girl can make us do something we don’t already want to do… period. Whether you trust her or not, if we Love you… she isn’t going to be able to do shit.
The point I’m trying to make ladies, is… Jealousy is the ugliest thing that we can see. I know that sometimes you can’t help it, it’s natural. Especially if you are very insecure about yourselves. But, that’s why you end up with the kind of guy that you can trust. Once you discover that your trust for him exceeds your insecurity about yourself, you’ll find that jealousy is a thing of the past.
“When I say I Love You. I Love You. There is no one else”.
Personally, I am not a jealous person. I’ve completely trusted everyone I have ever been with whole-heartedly. The last relationship I was in I had a girlfriend that I know for a fact can be trusted. Her best friend is her ex, actually he was her first boyfriend. When she sees old friends she has a tendancy of running and leaping into their arms. She even enjoys the fact when other guys flirt with her… I was okay with it as well. I know where she stood, and unless some idiot didn’t get the hint when she turned him down, I rarely felt the urge to get involved. It’s only when they don’t clue in that she’s taken and keep trying that I step in.
Now Guys… Yeah. That’s right, the highway of mistrust is not exclusive to women. Generally guys express jealousy differently. But the advice to you is the same. Why are you with someone if you don’t trust them? If you need to lead your girlfriend around by the wrist like she is a disobediant pet… that is NOT a relationship. Don’t take the girl to a dancebar, tell her “oh fuck that I don’t dance.” and then get pissed off because she’s up there having fun.
Listen… dickhead… she wanted to dance with you, you couldn’t be seen in such a non-manly way that you said you didn’t want to. Don’t sit there and hold it against her if she is now on the dancefloor dancing with some other dude or some of her friends.
Wow, you are a tough guy that managed to get a really good looking girl. What kind of life are you having when you are so stoked that you have such a knockout by your side, and yet when guys look at her and approve you get pissed? Are you kidding me? If you really are that scared that she’ll go off with someone else, then why exactly are you with her… I mean you won’t be able to watch her all the time. If she’s a cheater, you can’t stop it. Why would you want to? If you think she would do it, then why be with her?
I don’t understand the point of the macho bullshit that comes along with guys when it comes to the girlfriends. Don’t encourage her to wear short-shorts and a tanktop out in public because she is absolutely gorgeous and then pick a fight with any wandering eyes you notice from the men that pass by.
I don’t know this first hand, because I actually was born with a penis. But I’m certain that the same applies to females that Jealousy is an incredibly unattractive trait to show. If you are with someone, you should not be getting jealous… you have to trust them.
If they are trustworthy, there is nothing in this world that can lead them astray.
Maybe I was spoiled in my early relationships? This could be why I have such a cut and dry view on Trust and Jealousy. Here’s some advice to sum up the whole entry.
Stop being so damn stupid. Do you really think it is appealing to your girl that you pick fights with every guy that says hello to her. She’s going to be out of your life eventually if you decide that he best friend of 10 years is secretly trying to get with her so she’s not allowed talking to her. Here’s a piece of information to keep in mind, good friends are very hard to come by in this world… a Jealous boyfriend, well they are a dime a dozen. If you can’t trust her enough to be faithful, then you might as well leave… the relationship isn’t going to last.
You really have to start getting the idea through your head that men are not complete slaves to their dicks. We do not just go around putting it in anyone that’ll open her legs. We ARE capable of having female friends without wanting to sleep with them, and if we are truly into you and someone comes looking for something from us, they WILL be turned down.
A girl that is trying to get your boyfriend on the go is NOT something that you need to make a federal case about. He’s not going to sleep with her just because he can… not to say that there isn’t guys who are like that, but if you think you’re boyfriend is one of them… what are you doing with him.
In my last relationship I had a week long trip to St. John’s. We were on shaky ground to the point that our relationship’s future was completely up in the air. I spent time in St. John’s and had numerous opportunity to “get some” with a variety of different women. What did I do? … Sorry, I have a girlfriend. I could have gotten away with so much out there and no one would’ve been the wiser, especially if I lied to Johnny… no one would’ve known. I’m not the only guy that would make that choice in that position.
On the flipside. I know a girl that has a boyfriend that abuses her. Emotionally and I’m pretty sure physically. Yet.. she is completely faithful. Trustworthiness can exist in both genders.
… Non-Trustworthy people exists in both genders as well. The Penis alone is NOT criteria to not be trusted.