Yes, the title of this entry is an Eminem featuring Rihanna song. Bite me.
A necessary part of life eh? Why though? What is wrong with the idea of a world with 100% honesty?
How do you justify a lie? How does it feel when you know that someone has lied to you? Good Or Bad?
It’s difficult to assess this, being human it is near impossible to give an accurate unbiased observation. As a homosapian.. I have lied. I lie. and I’m willing to stake my life that I will lie again. It’s unavoidable. Lying is as human as opposable thumbs. It’s a sad thought though, because when you lie you deviate from fact, and when you deviate from fact you fabricate a new truth that you need to maintain in your mind else the lie becomes discovered and loses its effectiveness.
Anyone that is reading this that has known me for the last 3 months, will see irony in this entry. I had a girlfriend once upon a time, who didn’t lie. She told the truth, all times. She refused to lie, even most white lies that everyone I have ever known would just recite in a heartbeat, was too dishonest for her. It was a very respectful, sometimes annoying(haha), trait.
3 Months ago I had a complete breakdown. I wrote about it already on my facebook, so anyone that I care to inform of the details already know what I’m referring to. The epiphany I had the next morning changed my life, and with this new outlook I have decided that the only thing I care about in this world when it comes to interpersonal relations is honesty. The only thing someone can do wrong by me is lie to me.
Things have never been so clear since I abandoned all urge to lie about everything. Funniest moment being Stacey Green asking me, “How does this shirt look”. In reality the shirt was fine, but she was going out and wanted to look good, so she had a better outfit I was certain. My response? “You’ve looked better.” I can’t forget the look on her face when I said that, it was a mixture of laughter and anger all at the same time, but she went to her room, changed, and came back down in a shirt that made her look stunning. Of course, the way she remembers it is simply, “I Can’t Believe You Said That” haha.
I got asked by Christopher Clarke last night why I would be mad if a certain friend of mine stayed with him. I could’ve quite easily just said, “I just feel better if she crashed with us since she’s coming with us.” But that wasn’t the truth. This friend asked me about him, and I told him exactly what I thought about his ability to be a boyfriend. “Great drinkin buddy (Before he passes out sick), but I would never want to see a close female friend involved with him… because I’ve seen him in the situation.” Whether he’s changed or not, I don’t know. I really don’t care. My opinions are based on my own observations and it won’t change unless we are in the same area at some point in our lives and I see him treating a girl like a person.
My biggest regret in life is not speaking my mind. I wanted Kelly to stay here and not move away, but I thought she’d be better off gone… Look how that turned out? I never did show Danielle that I cared for her, and through my actions I actually turned her away, I hid evening plans from Candace for a period of time to avoid a fight, not even realizing that the fact that I lie make her feel like she wasn’t important to me at all.
Relationship-wise especially, my lies are the touch of death, as I imagine it is for most couples. I won’t let that happen again.
You can get through this world without lying. There’s never a justifiable reason to lie. Why do we do it Anyway?
I just googled the some Reasons in no particular order – and I will debunk them all.
1. To Avoid Punishment/Consequences – Isn’t it the first trait you gain when you start to mature. You have to answer for your actions. If you are fearful of the punishment or consequences then you shouldn’t be doing to deed. Lying to get out of trouble is NOT justifiable because these consequences are going to occur either way, lying will just amplify them when it is discovered.
2. To avoid confrontation and general unpleasantness of the situation. – If someone asks you to hang out and go for drinks. You really do not want to go? Tell them. Do not say, “Oh sorry I have to study.” or “I’m very tired, I’ll go next time.” Statements like this should not be said. No need for lines, just tell them. “I don’t really enjoy doing that”
Granted this doesn’t mean that you always just do whatever you want to do, there is still compromise. I’m just saying that the times you do turn down, don’t lie about why.
3. To Be Liked – Why? Lol This one is the flimsiest excuse… wait. Is Flimsy really a word? Whatever. Why lie to be liked? Either it wont work and you wasted a lie for no reason, or it works and your liked, but it’s a lie you must keep living. Let people like you for what you think and do, not what what you think they want you to say.
4. To Get Their Way. – This one I understand is never going to stop. Because as long as their are desire in this world, we will always want to get our own way. I just implore that you don’t need deception to do it, in fact getting your own way will be that much sweeter if you do it legit.
5. To protect privacy – this is the closest to true justification. I am guilty of this one. However, you can protect privacy without lying. You just get more comfortable with the english language and you’ll discover that you can find your way out of violating privacy without lying… that way it doesn’t come back on you later.
6.To pump their image up – *coughernestsnookscough* oops. sorry I caught a cold or something. Yeah. Lying to pump up your image. No, I can’t see this justified. In fact, if you pump your image based on lies, that image is destroyed beyond all repair when it comes out that you lie, because when you do accomplish something great, no one will believe you. I have been guilty of this in the past as well though.. hence why I know this from experience.
I’m not saying that I am 100% honest all the time, I just pose the hypothetical question of why can’t we be? Why is lying such a necessity?
Honesty is the best policy. <– Such an old, cliched phrase.. and yet it fits. Honesty is not always the easiest thing.. a lot of times it is the hardest thing… But it’s never the wrong thing.
Deviant Art Pictures:
A Beautiful Lie – Airy Elle
Deception Wallpaper – HellKnight10