You have no idea how livid I am right now, amplified by the fact that I am stuck behind my desk in the office because I can’t afford to leave. Who would’ve thought that in the time between right now – 10:05am, and my previous post, that I would have found something to rant about.
Controlling and Demanding Significant Others. –
Disclaimer: I am aware that this occurs in both male AND females. It is not always the male that is the domineering party in a relationship but since the particular case that sparked this rant is.. I’ll use males as a generality.Why? Why is it that an absolutely incredible girl can be so controlled. How is it possible, they are gorgeous, intelligent, and yet completely submissive to someone who tells them day after day that they are a waste of life. She is one of the most extraordinary women that have entered my life, I owe a lot of who I am to simply knowing her in my younger years, and yet I am powerless right now to help. He makes her feel like scum, and she wont listen to reason or allow me the opportunity to get in and show her how great she is.
I know how it works. Having this discussion with a very good friend of mine who has been in her position fairly recently, we discussed how it’s a mindfuck. This guy has the girl-in-question completely beaten, psychologically. She legitimately believes that she isn’t worth a damn and that her life is absolute agony.
Being on the outside it is hard for me to empathize with her viewpoint. She’s got a great job that would be more than enough to provide her with a good life and financially security, if she didn’t have to waste a LOT of money going to see that asshole.
The things that he says to her, the way he treats her… I really want to cause a great deal of bodily harm to this man. I know how the situation will be resolved, I need to find a way to get her to start having some confidence in herself. She is such an unbelievable person I can’t believe that it would be so difficult for her to see it.
I am worried. Very worried about this girl. There is nothing I want more in this world than for her to listen to me and get out from the control of this prick. I know I have hurt people in the past, especially girlfriends, but other than a temporary insanity with Danielle, I don’t believe I treated any girlfriend wrongly. It may have ended, but at all times I tried to do what was right for them.I am pretty certain that I am going to be convicted of Murder is anything happens to her. Although she will swear up and down that he has nothing to do with it and it is simply her own fault and her own problems. I know differently. There’s a reason why EVERYONE blames him m’dear. It is because HE is doing this to you. Love is the most dangerous of all emotions. It can provide the most intense feeling of warmth and belonging… it can actually be a strong foundation and a reason to live.
Unfortunately, when it is wrong.. not reciprocated it can be agony. When you are in love with someone and they don’t love you, it can tear your world apart.
But then we have the Love or the wrong person. This is the case that I am ranting about. When you are love with someone, and they realize it and exploit it. This guy knows that he can do and say whatever he wants and she’ll just sit there and take it. He can break up with her and tell her to go to hell and die… and she’ll just run back and beg him to stay…. He’s an asshole. I have not felt such an intense hatred of a man who I barely met until now.
If you find yourself in such a situation. Please, I implore you to take a step back and look at what you have. Never let a boyfriend/girlfriend decide how great or shitty your life is. That is entirely up to yourself. If you think you are worthless, then ignore the boyfriend/girlfriend and anything associated with him/her and then look at whats left. I’m sure it isn’t as bad as you thought. Even if you step back and see that there’s nothing left (which is sometimes the case if you spend every waking moment with the man)… that just means you have so much room to experience things. Never judge yourself based upon the opinion of anyone but yourself. Too many people emphasize how others view them and let that dictate their actions. I am guilty of this myself at times, but quick to resolve it once I notice.
You are who you are… you can’t help that. Sure, if you are a douchebag you can learn to be considerate, if your selfish you can learn generosity… but at the core you cannot change who you are. The only time someone can change is if they are doing it for themselves, not at the request of someone else.
~There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.” —Douglas Everett